Father, Help Your Daughter!

Ok...so I've been formally chastised for not posting for a couple of days. Was SO damn busy at work and just plain haven't had time at home, so lay off already. lol

Sitting here at work....it's a little slow (for once) due to the incredibly shitty wintery weather everywhere. In fact, it has been SO shitty that yesterday my coworker, upon seeing the accumulating snow and ice out the window, cried out, "Oh, Lord Jesus, have mercy on my soul!" Choking back laughter, I just sat their thinking about how long it would take me to scrape off my car YET AGAIN. Blah! But it was funny.

I'm currently listening to a mix CD my friend Andrea made. Sheep go to Heaven Goats go to Hell by Cake....followed by I Love Rock and Roll by Joan Jett! How much better can it get??!!! I admit it I admit it....I was air guitaring it in my cubicle on I Love Rock and Roll....lol

So now...on to more work weirdness...we get some of the strangest people calling in...here's one from yesterday. Is there any other type of customer service/call center where people have to deal with this crap?????

*phone rings*
Me: Good morning. Christian Distributors, how can I help you?

Customer: Yes, I want to order books from your company. I have a ministry where I give books away.

Me: Ok. We can send you some information and a catalog. May I have your name and address?

Customer: What I want to know is have you read all of the books? Can you tell me about them?

Me: No maam. I haven't read all of the books. There's no possible way I could do that. We carry over 15,000 items. If you have a question on a particular book, though, I can look up information for you.

Customer: What do you mean you haven't read them?! If you really loved Jesus you would try to read them. Are you scared? ARE YOU
AFRAID OF KNOWING THE LORD????!!!!

Me: No maam. I'm not afraid. We'll get this information in the mail for you. May I have your address?

Customer: Well God told me to give rice to the homeless. I give rice to the homeless. My children were wasting food and God told me I should give rice to the homeless. Do you have any idea how much you can
do with rice?!

Me: I'm sure they really appreciate that. I'll just go ahead and get this information in the mail for you. May I have your address?

Customer: Well you don't know how many....

Me: Maam, may I PLEASE have your address.

Customer: *finally gives her damn address*
Hold on a minute, honey, I have another call I'm going to take.

Me: (*thinking* I am SO not your "honey" you freak)
Maam, I really need to go, so I'll just go ahead and send you this information. Thank you for calling.
*hangs up*

OMG.....these people scare me....really really scare me. Why can't we take away THEIR marriage rights....or more preferrably their ability to reproduce????!!! It's just wrong. The poor kids....

And on another note, here's a strange book title of the day:
Don't Date Naked
No shit, Sherlock! How long did it take ya to figure that one out.....

*valley girl voice*and wouldn't that like be against your like religion or something????

I love my job. I have a headache.